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The Resoration of Ami

The State of Things - 2024
Sam Hawksmoor

Ever feel powerless to change things? Not just politically, but closer to home, your own life.

Bunny Cloud

To change things politically they say ‘well you have the vote, use it’.  Yeah sure, but what if the extremes in politics now means you are inclined to vote ‘none of the above’. That surely is a very real prospect in the USA today and to a certain respect here in the UK.  Trump is toxic, as his party and Biden is old and lacks the necessary inspiration to fire up voters despite engineering a very positive economy. There is a fringe character in the shape of RFK but he’s a conspiracy theorist and supported by Republicans to take votes away from Biden. Sadly, they might well succeed in that task.

In the UK we have had the Tories in power for the last thirteen years riven by bitter rivalries and still stained by the Brexit vote and Covid that has reduced the British economy by twenty percent. Add massive numbers of illegal immigrants arriving on our shores this has thoroughly destabilized the nation, as there is nowhere to put them – we see the same phenomena in the USA with the border issue.  Yet in the UK we are being asked to vote for an alternative Labour party that threatens to give unions such power it will end up paralysing the nation. It’s bad enough we still have the doctors on strike demanding a totally unrealistic 35% pay rise, train drivers on strike (despite being offered huge salary increases) and civil servants refusing to go back to the office and do some actual work.  This means a huge number of people just don’t feel inclined to vote as no matter whom they vote for as the ‘government’ always gets back in.  Powerlessness writ large.


There has been a lot of talk in the newspapers lately about loneliness and mental health. Loneliness is often the result if you are divorced or single (or in an unhappy marriage) even if on social media. But then again it is the very people on social media who seem to complain about being lonely despite their thousands of followers.  Virtual life vs actual conversation face to face over drink or coffee is no contest as far as I’m concerned, but failing that, a daily phone conversation with a friend is critical too.  Even if you have nothing to report - just the act of a conversation is a healing moment for both parties.

Both my young 16-year-old nieces also complain of loneliness and are wary of toxic ‘mean girls’ who troll those outside their ever changing social groups. Both have experienced ugly hostility on their phones or at school since the age of 12.  It’s interesting to discover that they have voluntarily retreated from social media now and focus on what interests them.  A lack of trust in people is a common complaint from them. 

Bullying isn’t new. Ask anyone who ever went through private education. If not fellow students, it can be the teaching staff who are practiced in the art of divide and rule.  With the added terror of smart phones to the mix it must be hell now.  I was incarcerated in a private school from the age of seven to seventeen.  Not sure how I survived really but it does scar you for life.  Heaven help you if you don’t conform or stand out in some way. To cope I discovered long distance running so I could escape into the nearby forest on my own for hours on ‘sport’ afternoons. I still love the sound of the wind through the trees and the scent of pine.


My immediate neighbour sent me a message this week.  Needs to talk.  Feels isolated. My opposite neighbour revealed she is desperate to sell up and move but I fear she will take her loneliness with her.  All are retired, divorced or widowed.  It’s kind of weird but I live in a street of single middle-aged homeowners – several are dog owners.  I know the names of the dogs but not the neighbours.  Funny really.


I read that the so-called silver surfer generation are the leading cause of the spread of sexual diseases in the USA and UK. So obviously there are great many people in their sixties and seventies hooking up.  Clearly, I am missing out, but then again, sexual disease swap parties don’t seem too appealing to me.  Maybe Tupperware parties were safer ways to meet people. Now they’ve gone too.


This April I’m heading to Amsterdam, taking my elder sister there, as she has never been. Considering she nearly died in January from an infection she picked up in Miami, she’s very brave to want to travel again.  But luckily one can go by Eurostar train from London all the way there, without all that sadistic punishment that goes with air travel.

Meanwhile I appreciate those readers who have bought and read my new book ‘The Restoration of Ami’ and taken the trouble to post a review. It all helps. Thank you.

© Sam Hawksmoor April 2024
The Restoration of Ami
ISBN: 978-1-7385181-0-4 - Print UK
Pub: Hammer & Tong/KDP 2.29.24

Author of Mission Longshot download or order the print version


© Sam Hawksmoor 2024 - all rights reserved